Whatever You Do, DON’T Google Camel Mating Rituals

Today at work we were talking about the dating terms “cougar” and “panther.” Apparently, there is some discrepancy as to the formal use of panther; it can sometimes apply to men, which none of us knew until we turned to the internet experts. Then there’s a puma, which is specifically linked to women age 30-39. So that once you hit 40, you’re a cougar. But only if you go for, according to Wikipedia, “significantly” younger men. It was all very confusing and limiting and demoralizing. I uncomfortably ended the conversation by declaring I was a camel.

Then I decided to beef up my match.com profile with the following:

  • I make great scrambled eggs.
  • I know just enough Star Wars and Lord of the Rings references to turn on every nerd within a 100-mile radius.
  • I’m always one Lifetime movie away from bursting into tears.
  • I’m fascinated by beekeeping.

That oughta turn things around pretty quickly.

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