My Twelve Days of Christmas

  1. A sour sense of consumerism and greed.
  2. A lack of work ethic when it comes to wrapping gifts.  Tissue + bag = done.
  3. OCD overdrive.
  4. A wish, a hope, a dream.
  5. Constipation.
  6. Overdressed, sweaty, sticky children.
  7. Underwhelming.
  8. A trip to Urgent Care/Walgreens Take Care Clinic for at least one of us.
  9. Waking up alone with zero presents with my name under the tree  because my kids are too young to buy me stuff.
  10. Extra Xanax.
  11. Disgust over the myriad ways Santa is depicted on everyday household items.
  12. A distant bittersweet feeling I can’t quite put my finger on. So, let’s celebrate by drinking eggs!

Man, I’m a bummer.  ‘Tis the season!


4 thoughts on “My Twelve Days of Christmas

  1. Allison, you make me laugh! “A sour sense of consumerism and greed” indeed! Makes me happy to be Jewish, but since I was married to a Lutheran, my kids have had the hyper-greed — Hanukkah and Christmas.

    But I have never bought into that holiday insanity; makes me ill. I do like the traditions around it, though — cutting a tree, making a gingerbread house, the Charlie Brown soundtrack, etc.

    My kids are old enough to buy me stuff, but a few years ago I told them the best gift they could give me was “respect.” So, they wrote it on a piece of paper and wrapped it up. I taped it to my fridge’ best give I ever got.

    Happy Holidays (despite all that other stuff!)

    • Ha! Hyper-greed. I too like the traditions but also with a dash of slowing things waaaay on down. Seems like the world does the opposite.

      Now I have that Aretha Franklin song in my head…R-E-S-P-E-C-T….good kids you have there.

      Thanks for the nice comments. Happiest of ALL the holidays to you!

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