Oh, screw it. I’ll just get on Facebook.
So no call the next day. Or the next. Or the next. Or the next. Oh, wait, then a text. Cryptic, non-committal, no response required. “Dealing with some issues.” I knew right away it was the ex. Although I haven’t dated in 18 years, I have lived with a guy almost that long, and I’m not dumb. You can read those dudes like a book.
So later that day, I texted back something equally neutral and non-plussed and went about my business. Sure, I was mad, confused to say the least, and even sad at some point (my rejection meter is a little sensitive) but I moved on. I figured it’s his issues, not mine and that only time will tell where his head truly is. I was mostly disappointed that he couldn’t just call me earlier and cut bait.
A week after that text, still no word. I can’t believe I did this, but I called him and asked him to join me at an event later that week. (Hindsight: Nail in the coffin) I thought I would just volley that out there, see if there was anything worth salvaging. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? If anything, just to flush him out. He called back a day later and we had a long talk. The timing’s bad, he just can’t get involved with anyone right now, his dog ate his homework, etc. That’s fine.
Looking back, maybe the intensity of our early electric love scared him off (ha!), maybe my assessments were accurate and he’s like that with all women, maybe he’s just classically “not that into me,” or maybe I was simply a convenient distraction or pawn while he and his off-and-on ex hit a few speed bumps.
I had medium hopes for us. I wasn’t looking to get married. I just wanted to have some good times with someone I found interesting and fun. And get some kissing in there too. Jesus, the kissing! Where can I get more of that?? God, it’s like being in the desert and coming across a Dixie cup of water. I find myself licking the cup for any remnants.
Of course, I would love for him to call me out of the blue, say he changed his mind, made a huge mistake, offer to split that bottle of champagne we won at the lawn party and celebrate something. Even if it’s simply to celebrate the fact that it’s Tuesday. Isn’t that funny? Dude can just not call for two weeks, tell me he “needs space” and I still want him? Clearly I have some lingering attachment issues to work out – but I’m in therapy. That’s a start!
I actually thanked him. I thanked him for helping me fling myself out there and flex my flirting, dating, kissing, eyelash-fluttering muscles. Sure, I was all over the place at the beginning, but I think I’ve settled down now. I’m liking this place, although it can feel like being in a blender at times, it’s fun. Having a social/dating life definitely makes me a better mom. Now if I can just get another date with someone, this little project could really take off! Who’s with me? Either you help, or I am going to throw myself to the eHarmony wolves.