While driving down the road today, I saw a kid on a bike. Maybe 10 or 11 years old. He was steering with one hand and almost wrecked because HE WAS TALKING ON A CELL PHONE WHILE BIKING. You deserve every bit of gravel in your chin for that, you little turd.
Furthermore, your parents should be stripped of their blackberries, flat screen tvs, ipods, laptops, cable tv, satellite radio, and Starbucks. Make them connect with actual humans in an uncaffienated state in an actual world, devoid of information about Scott Baio’s fear of commitment and Bret Michaels’ fear of cutting his hair.