Little Miss Twelve Step

Now that’s how you do it. Miss America 1940-something kept an intruder at bay with a shotgun. This little ol’ spitfire was willing to blast the balls off some guy just to protect her property. That is MY kind of Miss America.

Not the whiny, rehab-visiting kind who “just needs a second chance.” Face it, girl. You just like to party and get wild and flash things and lick girls and “woohoo” into cameras until the wee hours. Sadly, that is the definition of an all-American girl. If she had just been upfront about it like Vanessa Williams and said, “Hey, I don’t really want to tape my parts together, smear Vaseline on my teeth and visit orphans anymore. I want to go back to my real life and shoot Jager with my best friends in Cabo,” we would all be much happier right now.

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