Coppertone Baby

I have never spent so much time in the sunscreen aisle at Target. I had to buy some sunscreen for the bean who is now out and about most days a-frolicking in the sun. And, she is facing a summer alone with Dad at the pool to boot.

Having grown up in the 70s, I don’t think I heard of sunscreen until like, last year. I remember slathering on the baby oil or the Coppertone Deep Tan oil, or the holiest of holy, the Hawaiian Tropic Dark elixir. Then baking myself for hours on end with all types of reflective materials. At night, I would take a cool shower and anoint myself with aloe vera gel and subsequently choke on a cloud of some kind of healing sunburn spray. AND MY MOTHER ENCOURAGED IT. Then again, she smoked and drank while pregnant with me. It seems we’ve come a long way since then.

Anyway, I am a bit pale. Well, ok, I am Casper-ass white. My skin is so pale, it’s almost translucent. Mosquitoes bite me often only because they can SEE my veins. I am an easy target. I chose to bake my skin beyond measure growing up because tan people were cool. I never really tanned, I burned and then the burn faded and I swear it would turn a little brown before fading completely. Every time. Only in my LATE twenties did I actually start to shun the sun. I have a shitload of freckles and moles and am now starting to see weird mutations popping up on my face.* Maybe it’s payback for all the bad things I’ve said about people, maybe it’s just dumb luck with a dash of genetics. Either way, I am going to protect my baby’s precious little skin at all costs. Even if she smells like the summer of 1977 at the Mark Twain Apartment complex pool and rec center 24/7. Ahhh, the summer Elvis died, the summer my pre-pubescent frighteningly early boob popped out of my swimsuit during a greased watermelon contest, the summer I discovered Tab soda and the band Kiss. Nothing like it.

Oh, and just so you know, I settled on Aveeno Baby SPF 55. Coppertone was too stinky.

*Fear not, I do get regular checkups at the dermatologist. At least I have some sense now.

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