Hello Honda? You’re gonna wanna hire me after you hear this…

While staring into the howling void today at a stoplight, I was mindlessly reading the little sticker that says a bunch of shit about the passenger side air bag. Then I thought, there should be a passenger side feed bag. That would be helpful when on a long road trip, you find yourself ready for some munchables. There could be assortments to choose from like salty vs. sweet, healthy vs. crap from Frito-Lay, all gum, and of course, custom selections. The assortments would have names such as Fast & Furious (gatorade, slim jims), Sweet Home Alabama (pecan rolls, bourbon) and The Woodstock (a bunch of pseudo-food made from hemp and soy). You get the picture.

Classified ads would read:
1998 Honda Civic LX, 4WD, 4DR, 85,XXX miles, stereo, salty assortment w/custom option, $27,500, OBO.

There would be all sorts of cross-promotion going on between the snack and car makers. You could buy the refills everywhere. You could change them out like CDs. You could buy big ones with full meals for RVs, family-sized ones for SUVs and minivans, and all-liquor ones for males age 18-34.

It hurts to be this brilliant.

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